TECHNOLOGY

- reported by Ah Fatt.

The Xbox 360 game Perfect dark Zero will be shipping to Singapore together with Xbox 360 sets when the next-gen console is launched here on March 2. Microsoft has started their month-long campaign to promote the Xbox 360 and our sexy hero of the game Joanna Dark has come to the sunny island to help Microsoft.





Perfect Dark Zero for the Xbox 360.








Our very chee-bye Singaporean correspondent Ah Fatt caught up with the redhead femme fatale at E2MAX @ Cineleisure Orchard where she was playing Dead or Alive Ultimate on the Xbox. Ah Fatt invited her to the F&B joint inside the gaming centre and ordered a healthy fruit platter for both of them to share while Ah Fatt tried to dig up more about the game and Joanna herself.

Joanna: Thanks for ordering the fruit platter. It's really healthy food for a soldier like me.





Joanna Dark from Perfect Dark Zero.







Ah Fatt: Heh...no probrem! The pineapple rings are very nice man...(softly) and also the same shape of your...

Joanna Dark: I beg your pardon?

Ah Fatt: Oh...ah never mind lah. (chuckles cheekily) Ok so can you tell us more about your role in the game Perfect Dark Zero?

Joanna Dark: I am a super spy in the period of time before I became wrapped up with the Carrington Institute in my battle against dataDyne, an evil corporation. Actually I think what I've said is difficult to comprehend so let me put it in simpler terms - I am a super spy in the future who fights an evil corporation. Ahaa that's better, ain't it?

Ah Fatt: Yah, not to mention that you're a chio bu in the future too.

Joanna Dark: Huh? Sorry..?

Ah Fatt: Oh, erm so it's like the previous game on the Nintendo 64 isitt?

Joanna Dark: Basically yes, but of course the graphics are much better on the Xbox 360 and enemy A.I. is much smarter too.

Ah Fatt: And you will look more chio too... Being one of the more famous female heros in video games this year, do you see Lara Croft as a rival to your popularity or even your mission assignments?

Joanna Dark: If I ever have to raid any tombs, I'm sure our paths will cross. Until then, I'm pretty sure we're safe in our own worlds. I'm way way ahead of her time, remember that.



Lara Croft from Tomb Raider.







Ah Fatt: What about Aeon Flux and Elektra? People see a bit of both of them in you. Do those comparisons hurt ah?

Joanna Dark: If they're not meant with hurt in mind, then no, I'm comfortably alright.

Ah Fatt: What does that star tattoo on your neck signify? I think my friend from Geylang 369 also has it, but his is on his shoulder.

Joanna Dark: It's the Seattle Slayers' mark - you know, their deathmatch team? I got it when I was going to the tryouts, only I didn't get to try out because my dad got called away and we had to go to a job in Buenos Aires.

Ah Fatt: Wa kao, don't tell me Ah Teh also from deathmatch team one ah? Do you know Ah Teh? The guy with the craters on his face formed by pimples...

Joanna Dark: Look, he's probably a fan of my game and got it from some tattoo shop.




Ah Teh, Ah Fatt's buddy from Geylang 369.








Ah Fatt: Eh what kind of weapons do you prefer?

Joanna Dark: For much of my work I like to use pistols as they're light yet powerful, and easy to reload. However when the bad guys are lining up to take shots at you, you've got to kick back and that's when the little black number with an underslung grenade launcher comes in.

Ah Fatt: Wah, you seem quite xiong, can you take out a guy with one move?

Joanna Dark: Sure I can. I turn him down.

Ah Fatt: Ouch! Single is not good la... Erm what's your favourite swimwear? Bikinis or tankinis?

Joanna Dark: It's usually a wetsuit, but if they can make a bikini with enough pockets for my mission gear, then heck, I'll the first in queue.

Ah Fatt: (wipes away the drool at the corner of his mouth) What do you do for leisure?

Joanna Dark: Deathmatch. The only thing outside of combat operations that gives me a rush.

Ah Fatt: Kaoz...there're much more fun things to do than deathmatch leh! If you want, maybe Ah Fatt can invite you to my place for dinner and after that, we can do some interesting activities. And handcuffs will definitely give you a rush. (grins cheekily)

Joanna Dark: (points her grenade launcher at Ah Fatt) Wipe that grin off that face, you perv.

Ah Fatt: (raises his hands in the air) Relax leh! And I thought you said you like to use pistols? Why you point that grenade launcher at me ah? I not even shooting at you sia!

Joanna Dark: 'Cause I don't want your ugly face to make a mess out of this nice flooring. A grenade launcher would just vapourize it.



A preview of what would happen to Ah Fatt's face should Joanna fire her grenade launcher.






Ah Fatt: Eh eh eh Ah Fatt not that ugly lah! Maybe I never use enough SK-II...Err Are there plans for a moive yet, like Tomb Raider and Aeon Flux?

Joanna Dark: It's quiet right now, but I'd rather they don't put me on the big screen, 'cause I think Hollywood will screw it up.

Ah Fatt: Body stats please - Height, weight and sexual orientation.

Joanna Dark: (points the grenade launcher at Ah Fatt's mouth) Hey! That's intrusive!

Ah Fatt: Eek! I think I scared of you liaoz. Ok last question before we go. How do we stalk, eh.., i mean contact you? You got fanbase or not?

Joanna Dark: Try www.perfectdarkzero.com for starters.

Ah Fatt: Ceh!

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