ENTERTAINMENT

- reported by Da Vinci
Las Vegas, USA--- A strange sight greeted many at the MGM-Mirage Casino in Las Vegas last night. Elvis was seen alive and well and gambling his money away at the BlackJack table. Still dressed up in his white jumpsuit and gelled hair, "he waltzed into the foyer like he owned the damn place." said a security guard who wishes to remain anonymous.

According to many patrons of the casino that day, Elvis looked like he had not aged a day and had retained his stunning looks, pot-bellied, double-chinned and smelling of beer. When asked where he had been all these years and how come no one had heard of him until now, Elvis told Rotters reporter Andrews Mil what conspiracy theorists had hypothesized all along. Aliens had heard one of his songs when scanning radiowave frequencies and had mistaken the lyrics as an insult to their race and hence swooped down and zapped him aboard the ship where he received an Ass Probe.

"It was most painful." he said, grimacing while rubbing his butt.

When asked how come he could afford to spend so much gambling now since he had been gone for so long and was poor, he replied, "Interest over 60 odd years."

However, the night ended in tragedy when, filled with Vodka, Elvis got up on the stage and performed one of his songs. So horrible was his singing that it caused a riot of the likes the world had never seen before as thousands of patrons yanked him off the stage and stoned him to death with plastic gambling chips. Apparently, he had lost his voice when he was probed. Well, at least we now know he is truly dead...or is he? After the stoning, when forensics teams arrived on the seen to inspect the carnage, Elvis Presley's body was no where to be found. Has he been zapped by aliens again? We may never know.

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