WORLD

- reported by Osiris.

Following the Jan 13 attack on a suspected Al-Qaeda meeting, the terrorist organization has released yet another videotape featuring Al-Qaeda's number 2 al-Zawahiri reciting poetry to jihadists.

There were no references to any recent events made in the video, so the CIA cannot conclude whether the video is a recent one. Our undercover reporter working in the agency managed to get his hands on the video and relayed the feed back to our headquarters.

The first 5 minutes showed the Egyptian doctor trying his best to read the works of Shakespeare. His English was not very good and he had trouble pronouncing some of the words. For example, when he said 'Thy' Rotters International initially mistaken it for 'Die'. So what we heard was "Die loaf Die-Self", which actually should mean "Thy love Thyself".

After struggling with old British poems, al-Zawahiri started to read his own poems. He excitedly introduced his English pieces "Sunsets" and "To bomb or be bombed" to the camera. Rotters International could only present the latter, because we could not make out a single word which he said in the first poem.

"To bomb or be bombed" by al-Zawahiri.

The ground shakes violently,
while I crap in my cave.
It is so strong
it knocks me off my potty.

Alfadi runs into my toilet
shouting that the birds have flown in from the West
crapping outside our cave non-stop
and then returning back to their nest.

I tell Alfadi to call Mustafa
and instruct him to start the counter-attack.
The Capitalist pigs think they are the winners
but we have yet to fuck them in the arse.

While the bombs rained on us,
somewhere in the US
we carry out Allah's plan
to eradicate the evil empire.

The faggot Ronald McDonald loses his hair
as we detonate the first one.
But the formula must have been wrong
as the rest of the restaurant remains intact.

Alfadi tries to reach Mustafa
but there is no signal in the cave.
So he walks out of our camp to get better reception
and gets hit by a Capitalist JDAM.

We hold a quick funeral for Alfadi.
He risked his life for Allah
but his stupidity ended it
in a bang.

Somehow the NYPD was quick.
Mustafa was arrested on the spot
but they didn't know that there was one more c4 on him
and he blew everyone up.

The next 3/4 of the poem is full of crap, so Rotters International decided against posting further. From here we can see that al-Zawahiri's command of the English language has greatly improved, though there is still room for improvement. Ah Fatt, you have got competition.

We have just received word that al-Zawahiri has been offered a 2-year contract at Disney Channel to read children's poems. Rotters International will try our best to contact him for confirmation. Do stay tuned to R.I. for the latest updates.



al-Zawahiri recites "Sunsets", one of 2 poems written by himself. We have an inkling feeling that he received help from William Wordsworth.

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