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TECHNOLOGY

- reported by Ah Fatt.

The Xbox 360 game Perfect dark Zero will be shipping to Singapore together with Xbox 360 sets when the next-gen console is launched here on March 2. Microsoft has started their month-long campaign to promote the Xbox 360 and our sexy hero of the game Joanna Dark has come to the sunny island to help Microsoft.





Perfect Dark Zero for the Xbox 360.








Our very chee-bye Singaporean correspondent Ah Fatt caught up with the redhead femme fatale at E2MAX @ Cineleisure Orchard where she was playing Dead or Alive Ultimate on the Xbox. Ah Fatt invited her to the F&B joint inside the gaming centre and ordered a healthy fruit platter for both of them to share while Ah Fatt tried to dig up more about the game and Joanna herself.

Joanna: Thanks for ordering the fruit platter. It's really healthy food for a soldier like me.





Joanna Dark from Perfect Dark Zero.







Ah Fatt: Heh...no probrem! The pineapple rings are very nice man...(softly) and also the same shape of your...

Joanna Dark: I beg your pardon?

Ah Fatt: Oh...ah never mind lah. (chuckles cheekily) Ok so can you tell us more about your role in the game Perfect Dark Zero?

Joanna Dark: I am a super spy in the period of time before I became wrapped up with the Carrington Institute in my battle against dataDyne, an evil corporation. Actually I think what I've said is difficult to comprehend so let me put it in simpler terms - I am a super spy in the future who fights an evil corporation. Ahaa that's better, ain't it?

Ah Fatt: Yah, not to mention that you're a chio bu in the future too.

Joanna Dark: Huh? Sorry..?

Ah Fatt: Oh, erm so it's like the previous game on the Nintendo 64 isitt?

Joanna Dark: Basically yes, but of course the graphics are much better on the Xbox 360 and enemy A.I. is much smarter too.

Ah Fatt: And you will look more chio too... Being one of the more famous female heros in video games this year, do you see Lara Croft as a rival to your popularity or even your mission assignments?

Joanna Dark: If I ever have to raid any tombs, I'm sure our paths will cross. Until then, I'm pretty sure we're safe in our own worlds. I'm way way ahead of her time, remember that.



Lara Croft from Tomb Raider.







Ah Fatt: What about Aeon Flux and Elektra? People see a bit of both of them in you. Do those comparisons hurt ah?

Joanna Dark: If they're not meant with hurt in mind, then no, I'm comfortably alright.

Ah Fatt: What does that star tattoo on your neck signify? I think my friend from Geylang 369 also has it, but his is on his shoulder.

Joanna Dark: It's the Seattle Slayers' mark - you know, their deathmatch team? I got it when I was going to the tryouts, only I didn't get to try out because my dad got called away and we had to go to a job in Buenos Aires.

Ah Fatt: Wa kao, don't tell me Ah Teh also from deathmatch team one ah? Do you know Ah Teh? The guy with the craters on his face formed by pimples...

Joanna Dark: Look, he's probably a fan of my game and got it from some tattoo shop.




Ah Teh, Ah Fatt's buddy from Geylang 369.








Ah Fatt: Eh what kind of weapons do you prefer?

Joanna Dark: For much of my work I like to use pistols as they're light yet powerful, and easy to reload. However when the bad guys are lining up to take shots at you, you've got to kick back and that's when the little black number with an underslung grenade launcher comes in.

Ah Fatt: Wah, you seem quite xiong, can you take out a guy with one move?

Joanna Dark: Sure I can. I turn him down.

Ah Fatt: Ouch! Single is not good la... Erm what's your favourite swimwear? Bikinis or tankinis?

Joanna Dark: It's usually a wetsuit, but if they can make a bikini with enough pockets for my mission gear, then heck, I'll the first in queue.

Ah Fatt: (wipes away the drool at the corner of his mouth) What do you do for leisure?

Joanna Dark: Deathmatch. The only thing outside of combat operations that gives me a rush.

Ah Fatt: Kaoz...there're much more fun things to do than deathmatch leh! If you want, maybe Ah Fatt can invite you to my place for dinner and after that, we can do some interesting activities. And handcuffs will definitely give you a rush. (grins cheekily)

Joanna Dark: (points her grenade launcher at Ah Fatt) Wipe that grin off that face, you perv.

Ah Fatt: (raises his hands in the air) Relax leh! And I thought you said you like to use pistols? Why you point that grenade launcher at me ah? I not even shooting at you sia!

Joanna Dark: 'Cause I don't want your ugly face to make a mess out of this nice flooring. A grenade launcher would just vapourize it.



A preview of what would happen to Ah Fatt's face should Joanna fire her grenade launcher.






Ah Fatt: Eh eh eh Ah Fatt not that ugly lah! Maybe I never use enough SK-II...Err Are there plans for a moive yet, like Tomb Raider and Aeon Flux?

Joanna Dark: It's quiet right now, but I'd rather they don't put me on the big screen, 'cause I think Hollywood will screw it up.

Ah Fatt: Body stats please - Height, weight and sexual orientation.

Joanna Dark: (points the grenade launcher at Ah Fatt's mouth) Hey! That's intrusive!

Ah Fatt: Eek! I think I scared of you liaoz. Ok last question before we go. How do we stalk, eh.., i mean contact you? You got fanbase or not?

Joanna Dark: Try www.perfectdarkzero.com for starters.

Ah Fatt: Ceh!

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HOME

- reported by Ah Fatt.

Strangely our news article with the video was deleted from our database. While security staff is investigating this suspected case of security breach, Rotters International will upload the video once more.

This video contains graphic scenes which may seem offensive by some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

If the video is unable to play or takes a long time to load, please make sure that you have the latest Macromedia Flash Player installed and that your internet connection is broadband. If it still fails, please notify us immediately.




This video may not be republished without the permission of the anonymous owner. Rotters International does not claim responsibility for the ownership of this video.

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SPORT

- reported by Osiris.

For the first time since the match against Charlton on Boxing Day, Arsenal have recorded an away win after 2 league defeats and exits from the Carling Cup and FA Cup.

Arsenal went to St. Andrews Stadium with 8 regular defenders ruled out of the match, leaving Wenger with no option but to send in a make-shift defense with an averaging age of 21 and comprising of 2 midfielders. Freddie Ljungberg and Robin van Persie were rested while Robert Pires started on the bench, but Jose Antonio Reyes and Csec Fabregas both came back from suspension.

To be honest, none of our staff watched the game and only Osiris listened to the commentary on the BBC, so Rotters International is unable to give you the full events which happened during the game.

Emmanuel Adebayor made his debut for Arsenal after returning from Togo's elimination from the African Cup of Nations. The former Monaco player's performance was impressive considering that he resumed training with the Gunners three days ago and in the 21st minute he scored a header, the ball coming from another Arsenal youth Abou Diaby's rebound following Thierry Henry's instinctive flick.




Emmanuel Adebayor is congatulated after putting the Gunners 1-0 up.






Arsenal continued to apply the pressure but Birmingham did have a few chances wasted. Jermaine Pennant was eager to shine against his former club and his cross was nearly headed home by Emile Hesky.

Adebayor could have made it 2-0 when he received a good ball from Reyes. However after running in front of goal, his shot was not powerful enough and Taylor saved comfortably.

3 minutes past the hour, skipper Henry scored. He latched onto a slide-pass by Fabregas and lashed a shot to beat Taylor and make it 2-0. That goal also set a new record for Henry and Arsenal - the Frenchman is the first Arsenal player to score 200 goals for the club. Coincidentally, back in 2003, Henry's goal against Birmingham made it a 100 goals scored by the striker.




Henry celebrates his 200th goal for Arsenal.






Birmingham made a tactical change by substituting Mikael Forssell with DJ Campbell, the latter playing his first Premiership match. He created some trouble for the Arsenal back-four with his charging and crosses but the defenders held on strongly to their 2-goal lead.

A goal for Birmingham would have pleased the fans but things got worse for Steve Bruce when Emile Hesky receiveda second yellow card after knocking into Flamini in the 83rd minute and was sent off. Hesky was booked earlier for fouling Senderos and the player was unwilling to leave the pitch even though referee Mike Reily had shown him the red card. In the end his manager had to drag him away from the field.





Hesky refuses to leave after being shown the red card by Mike Reily.





So the final whistle blew and the Gunners recorded their first away win since Boxing Day and Theirry Henry set yet another remarkable record for a remarkable player. Arsenal are still in the race for a Champions League spot, one point behind 4th-placed Tottenham who play Charlton tonight. The Gunners have a game in hand and must use it to their advantage if they want to play European football next season.

Arsene Wenger was pleased with his team's performance, given that the back-four was a makeshift one.

"We had 8 players under 21 out there but they did very well. It was a great team performance and the team can be very proud."

On Emmanuel Adebayor, who scored on his debut, "He brought a great presence to us. He added size to the team and that was important in this kind of game."

"It was all about winning challenges in the air. I think Thierry took advantage of his presence as well."

Steve Bruce was left fuming after the send-off of Emile Hesky. When asked for comment, the Birmingham manager grumbled, "Fuck off, I'm not in a good mood."

Osiris is an Arsenal fan and believes that Tottenham does not deserve a Champions League spot. He hopes that Arsenal can win the Champions League this season even though their European form sucks.

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HOME

- reported by Ah Fatt.

Either there is a new film being produced, or terrorists have established a training camp in Singapore.

Rotters International received a video from an anonymous source. The video showed students actively involved in a live-fire exercise at a undisclosed location. This came as a shock to the news organisation, and R.I. decided to investigate this matter further by informing the Ministry of Education and the Singapore Police Force.

Said a spokesman from the ministry, "This is a very serious matter and in view to the uprising of terrorism in South-East Asia, we will definitely probe further into this case and stop students from participating in such activities."

The Singapore Police Force gave a different opinion, "I think these kids were just having some fun. We cannot say that these children are terrorists just by these little acts. Remember the 1997 Jason Tan incident? The policemen who arrested Jason were nearly charged for falsely accusing the 8-year-old boy of trying to rob a bank when he was just asking the teller how to pull the stuck trigger."

Rotters International cannot broadcast the video now as it is deemed too sensitive for young viewers. But we are pushing the authorities to give us clearance. Stay tuned!

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TECHNOLOGY

- reported by Ah Fatt.

Number 2 video game publisher Ubisoft has announced some new releases of game titles for spring 2006.

First is the long-awaited PC version of Rainbow Six: Lockdown, which will be released on February 7. Fans of the tactical-shooter series were greatly disappointed when Ubisoft chose to release the console version of the 4th instalment in the Tom Clancy video game franchise last year.

In Rainbow Six: Lockdown, players assume the role of Ding Chavez who is the team leader of Rainbow. He leads his team-mates to stop a dangerous enemy who is targeting Rainbow. In one mission, Rainbow's sniper Dieter Weber is captured by terrorists and Chavez must lead his team to rescue him.




Actual screenshot.









Ah Fatt spoke to Benjamin Lim, 15, from Singapore, who is a long-time fan of the Rainbow Six series.

Ah Fatt: Now that the Lockdown game got PC version one, are you going to buy or not?

Ben: Yea, I'll most probably buy the game. I've played all the past games on PC with the exception of Black Thorn, Covert Ops and Urban Ops, starting with the original Rainbow Six and up to 2003's Raven Shield.

Ah Fatt: What do you think about the Xbox version of the game ah?

Ben: To hell with the console! I don't understand how can anyone play a shooter game using two analog sticks and a few buttons! It's simply ridiculous, and it is an insult to the diehard PC fans who constitute 99.9% of the Rainbow Six fanbase.

Ah Fatt: Wa...so ji dong! Relax sia! Ok la, have fun when you buy it next week.

Ben: Thanks.

However after playing the single-player demo of Rainbow Six: Lockdown, Benjamin called Rotters International up to change his view on the game.

Ah Fatt: So how's the game ah?

Ben: It's not really that nice. They kicked out so many players like Homer Johnston (sniper) and assign you a stupid team comprising of Loiselle, Yacoby with a shotgun and Raymond with her machine gun for an urban mission! What bulls*** is that? And then there's no tactical planning - you just basically go around and shoot terrorists while reaching your objectives. It's like Black Hawk Down! What an insult to the Rainbow Six series! The games just get worse!




A very ji-dong Benjamin.





So Benjamin will not be buying Rainbow Six: Lockdown. He is deciding between Forza Motorsport and Full Spectrum Warrior: Ten Hammers, which is suposedly to be released on March 22.

The next Ubisoft game to be released is Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter. Ah Fatt had a sneak preview of the game courtesy of Ubisoft, and the graphics on the Xbox 360 were simply stunning. Ah Fatt rates it a 8.5 out of 10.








Box-art of Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter










Actual screenshot.





Finally there is the 4th instalment in the Splinter Cell franchise. Ubisoft had created wonders when it released the first Splinter Cell game in 2002 and continue to do so, their latest release being Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory in March last year. Master-spy Agent Sam Fisher is back for more action, but this time he will be a double agent in a terrorist organization called John Brown's Army, which is operating on American soil. Players will choose between moral values and decide whether they should help the good or evil. The game has multiple endings and the recent trailers just make the game more mysterious. Not much media has been released and fans just keep speculating what they would see in the game.

While Splinter Cell: Double Agent was slated for a March release this year, Ubisoft announced that they had pushed back Double Agent's release date to September 2006. Rumour has it that the September release was supposed to be in line with the worldwide release of the next-gen Sony Playstation 3. There is little word about Double Agent on the PS3 till date.






Splinter Cell: Double Agent screenshot









Ah Fatt spoke to Benjamin once again, who is also a hardcore Splinter Cell fan.

Ah Fatt: So now Ubisoft pushed back the release date to September, what do you have to say?

Ben: Ta ma de! I thought I could play the game during the March hols, but now it's been pushed back to September, and that's when my common tests are going to commence. What the hell...but never mind, I'll just keep waiting for more info about the game. Seriously, this game is going to rock.

Ah Fatt shall now return to playing Maple Story.


Rotters International offers its deepest apologies for not updating our website for the past few days. The reason for our temporary closure was that our staff was actively involved in a 3-day festival known as the Ang-Pow Collection, which is celebrated in conjunction with Gamble-With-Your-Relatives Festival and the Eat-All-The-Junk Day. But not to worry, Rotters International is back in action, so be sure to hear from us frequently.

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