Rotters International - The Crap Comes First

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A LOOK INTO ICELAND

WORLD

- reported by Osiris, in Republic of Iceland.

Here is a detailed explanation of the politics in the Republic of Iceland and the history of events which has led to the current situation in the country.

The Republic of Iceland gained independence from the British in 1823 and the Colonial rulers left two political parties to govern the country, the Socialists and the Terrorists. However it was the latter who received the required funding from the Queen of England, and since then has been the only party to rule Iceland, because there are no elections in the country.

The Socialists constitute a huge fraction of the number of seats in Parliament, more than the Terrorists. However despite their advantage in numbers, their voice is seldom heard, and most of Iceland's policies are implemented by their rivals in power.

Relations between the two parties have never been good, but in the years before current President Bobby K came into power, it seemed that the administration had seen the need to defuse the ticking time bomb between them and the Socialists. A resolution, known as Xbox Tournie, was drafted by then-Head of Security Paulo Limsky in 2004 to give the Socialists more freedom, but it was rejected by other senior members of the Terrorists who felt that the resolution had no real meaning and need not be implemented in the first place. Other Presidents known for taking important steps to improve ties between the two parties include the legendary Philips Liao and E.Weejaysing.

In recent years, the Socialists have been largely divided into two unofficial factions, the Socialist Elites and the Godly-Elite Party, the latter naming themselves so because they are a small fraction of the Socialists who think they are better equipped with skills for critical-thinking and making speeches than their counter-parts. The Socialist Elites, on the other hand, think that the G.E.P are just exaggerating their abilities and in some ways have demonstrated queer behavior in Parliament. The principle of all members of the S.E is that all Socialists are equal and should be united to fight against the troubles caused by the Terrorists.

Since the arrival of Bobby K in late 2004, the differences between the S.E and G.E.P have widened alarmingly. The S.E even accused the G.E.P of sharing confidential information with the Terrorists, which has resulted in a counter-sabotage on many of the Socialists' activites. Policies which the Socialists have planned so hard for many months in a bid to create a 'shock-and-awe' impact on the ruling party have even been rejected successfully with devastating results. The Godly-Elite Party deny any relations between them and the Terrorists, and proclaim that despite their differences, the Socialist Elites and Godly-Elite Party are still one party.

In May this year, the Terrorists ordered the reunification of the Socialists, claiming that the splitting up of the opposition party would result in one more party and this would then be a defiance of the Constitution, implemented one week after the Terrorists came into power. However it was a fruitless effort as the S.E and G.E.P continued their quarrels while putting up a show during Parliament.

War broke out in the fall of 2005, when neighbouring Catholic Holy State launched a series of mortar attacks onto Iceland, in what was a 'retaliation against Icelandic Protestant assaults on Catholic tourists at a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet in the town of Birshank'. President Bobby K started reconstruction efforts to rebuild the war torn country, using funds from the country's reserve bank. Progress was slow, and early this month the Socialists were moved to a small refugee camp on the barren grassland of S.Rajacurry. The Socialists showed their displeasure at the move by initiating a massive riot, emptying fire extinguishers and knocking down a NEC projector in the process. The Socialist Elites quickly constructed an airbase next to the refugee camp to defend their buildings of interest and also provide a landing area for supply aircraft, mostly from the Red Cross. The Godly-Elite Party, on the other hand, were not to be seen in the refugee camp and the S.E suspects that the administration had kept them safely with the Terrorists.

The riot prompted the Terrorists to denounce the Socialists for not being appreciative of the administration efforts, and also delcare that the Socialists were sending out a signal to them for a much 'harsher' treatment. Shortly after this declaration, it was discovered that the Socialists' webpage on server Uncyclopedia.org had been removed and banned from rebuilding. This angered the Socialists who felt that their freedom of speech, among other rights, had been violated. A clear violation of the Istimewa Treaty signed in August 2005, the Socialists decided to take matters into their own hands and show the Terrorists that the administration was incapable of leading the country.

A declaration of war has yet to be heard from the Socialists, but according to Da Vinci who is on the frontlines of the soon-to-be-begun battle, there have been more military preparations with soldiers gearing up and tanks already rolling towards the capital city of Mein Blork. Stay tuned as Da Vinci will be reporting shortly.

posted at 4:08 PM by Rotters Int. | Permalink |

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