TECHNOLOGY

-reported by Da Vinci

With the coming of the next-gen consoles, we usher in the new era of high-resolution graphic renditions and with that we introduce to you the first few femme fatales to have the honour and privilege to grace the Xbox 360. In this interview, Miss Joanna Dark will be returning for her second interview with us. We will also be talking to the Tomb Raider herself Miss Lara Croft as well as Spartan-458 Nicole.

Da Vinci: So, welcome to Rotters International Newswiring Agency! How are you all feeling this morning?

Croft: Very well, thank you.

Nic: All systems green. I'm cool.

Dark: Excellent! Thank you. It's good to be back here and to be talking to you instead of that other guy...what's his name? Ah.....

Da Vinci: Ah Fatt.

Dark: That's the guy! Horrendous English. Jeez...and he kept trying to hit on me. Like, get a life man!



Croft: Men are all like that.

Da Vinci: Hey hey! Okayyy...lets get back to the subject at hand. So Lara, you're first, could you give us a brief rundown of what you're doing in Tomb Raider: Legend?

Croft: Well, as you all know, I'm driven by an insane curiousity. This caused me to take up this profession of searching ancient ruins to dig up lost artifacts. This time, it starts with me returning to Bolivia, haven't been back there since I was a child. I'm looking for an ancient artifact so powerful that it could mean the end of the world. As usual, there is some rich megalomaniac looking for the same thing as me and he calls in his private army to do the dirty work for him of course. Bloody nuisance really!



Da Vinci: Wow, to defeat the load of them single-handedly sounds nasty.

Croft: Well, it comes with the job. Besides, I've got my support guys back at the mansion watching out for me as well. And, I've got my trusty twin pistols which can fire a total of 30 bullets at a time and reload automatically upon holstering. I also get to weild a variety of weapons such as the MP-5 SMG. It helps.

Da Vinci: Cool. Excellent weapon, the MP-5. Anyway, Joanna, you were the first Femme Fatale to appear on the 360 in Perfect Dark Zero. How does that compare to the old days on the N64?

Dark: Hoho...its an awesome change man! Really great, now with HD technology, I'm rendered with a much higher resolution and everything is much more detailed than before, no more polygonal, one-tone outfits. Yuck!

Da Vinci: Right on. Now Nicole, I'm very interested in your story. What happened to you? I thought the SPARTAN-II programme occurs a few hundred years in the future? And I thought Master Chief was the sole surviving Spartan after the Fall of Reach.

Nic: Affirmative. I was not part of the Fall of Reach. I was captured by ONI (Office of Naval Intelligence) when I was a young girl on Mars and was recruited for the SPARTAN-II programme. It was a success and I was transformed into a supersoldier, highly trained in all forms of combat. As for how I ended up on early 21st century Earth, I was onboard an ONI stealth vessel when a freak timeslip occurred, sucking the entire ship back in time.

Da Vinci: I see, that's a really nice suit you're wearing. What is it?

Nic: This is a modified Mjolnir Bio-mechanical armour suit. All Spartans wear one, the only humans who wear these are the Helljumpers and even then, their's does not come with active camouflage and regenerative shields.

Da Vinci: But I heard you do not have the shield in DOA 4, why?

Nic: Here is where it gets complicated. As I'm in the past now, I'm not allowed to kill anyone as it could affect history. Hence I cannot use any accurate weaponry. I turned off the shield to even the odds a bit. I still retain my honour as a soldier you know.

Da Vinci: Admirable indeed, though I hear you have a nasty plasma grenade attack.

Nic: Haha, THAT! Well...lets say the people over at DOA 4 are really good and I think I gave them a bit too much advantage so I decided to bring in some toned down plasma grenades to tilt the odds in my favour a bit. Hey, that's why you have to unlock me man! What I do is I grab the enemy by the collar of his outfit and I stick a plasma grenade onto his/her chest before kicking him/her away and watch as the grenade explodes. Nice!



Da Vinci: Right on...now girls, what is your reaction to the increasing competition and number of hot babes entering the next-gen gaming scene right now. A good example would be Rumble Roses XX.

Dark: That game is just a pure, baseless slut fest targetting the male gamers. People will just buy that to ogle at the girls' heaving bosoms as they wrestle each other. Pathetic.

Croft: I agree, I believe games should retain a degree of sensibility and maintain a high level of innovative gameplay, a good plot and excellent, well-developed characters. That is the secret behind the success of this Tomb Raider game despite the decline of the series over the years. People remember me and how good the original game was when it first came out. Hence, they are willing to give me and crystal dynamics a try.

Nic: Affirmative on that. If I had it my way, I'd get my AI programme to enter the primitive earth global digital network and eradicate all forms of lousy gameplay featuring lousy gameplay. I have no problems with more Femme Fatales appearing in the gaming scene, but come on, the developers cannot just use high-res cleavage to sucker gamers.

Da Vinci: Interesting viewpoint. Thank you ladies for this interview and I hope to see you soon.

Dark, Croft and Nic: Thank you. It was a pleasure.

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