Rotters International - The Crap Comes First

Sunday, December 10, 2006

POLONIUM TRAIL LEADS TO GERMANY, HITLER QUESTIONED

WORLD

- reported by Osiris.

British detectives investigating the death of ex-Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko have arrived in Berlin to meet German officials after radiation traces were found in two brothels owned by ex-leader Adolf Hitler.

Britain's MI-6 received a tip-off from their German counterparts after five female prostitutes turned up at a local hospital with symptoms of radiation poisoning. Doctors confirmed that all five tested positive for the substance polonium, but did not state if the prostitutes' lives were endangered.

German police officers have held Hitler at the Federal Intelligence Services headquarters for questioning, but insisted that the former Nazi leader is 'not under arrest'. A top-ranking officer, who requested not to be named due to the fact that the questioning was not supposed to be disclosed, told Rotters Int, "Hitler is giving us his full cooperation, but at the moment we are still in the beginning stages of questioning." He did not give any further details.

Britain has requested that Hitler be indicted to London where the police can proceed with a more 'comprehensive interrogation', but Germany is reluctant to do so. Sources from Berlin tell us that the Chancellor is afraid that Britain will lock Hitler in the Madame Tussauds wax museum.

"If it is a human figure, then we are alright with it. But if the British are going to display Hitler as Churchill's meatloaf, then we cannot allow them to do so." quoted a letter from Germany's foreign ministry.

German authorities insist that Hitler is not under arrest.

Since the end of World War II, when Germany surrendered to the Allies after the Jewish Hot-dog Attack on the capital city, Adolf Hitler had spent his time rebuilding the country's economy, employing homeless women to work as sex workers. He is the owner of twelve brothels with a net worth of more than twenty billion Euros, and is currently ranked twenty-five on the Forbes 100 richest men in the world.

MI-6 suspects that Hitler received supplies of polonium, along with other radioactive substances, during the second World War, when it was known that the Nazi leader was pursuing weapons of mass destruction. Although this is merely preliminary speculation, British tabloid The Daily Mirror has implicated that Moscow was responsible for the sale, and that former Soviet leader Stalin had been secretly supplying his enemy with weapons in exchange for victory against the German army.

Stalin, who is currently resting under a Russian Hawthorne tree, could not be reached for comment.

posted at 10:52 PM by Rotters Int. | Permalink |

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