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Saturday, December 09, 2006
ELMO APPROVES CONGRESS APPROVAL OF INDIA NUCLEAR SALE, PAKISTAN VOICES DISCONTENT
WORLD - reported by Osiris. The red and furry nincompoop Elmo has signed a new legislation into US law, where it is now allowed to export civilian nuclear fuel and technology to India for the first time in 30 years. The vote follows an agreement earlier this year between the Sesame Street corporation and the Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. Under the deal, energy-hungry India, whose development rate is rapid, will have access to US civil nuclear technology and fuel, in return for opening its nuclear facilities to the Sesame Street corporation where future TV shows will be recorded. Its nuclear weapons sites, however, will still remain off-limits. Elmo is confident of the new deal. Elmo told Rotters Int. that the new deal is a step forward to improving ties between the world's only superpower and one which is emerging. "We have to give them the fuel because it is a necessity for India. We don't want the day to come when India has to threaten with its weapons arsenal in order to get what they want to survive." He was comparing with the North Korean situation, when the communist country recently hit South Korea with a big stick in a bid to remind the world that they are still a nuclear threat. Prime Minister Singh was proud of the new agreement. "Now, besides the nuclear fuel, we also have Sesame Street shows for the children. They don't have to watch street puppet shows any more!" Neighbouring Pakistan, who has never been on good terms with India and also has a nuclear weapons arsenal, condemned the new trade deal. President Musharraf called the agreement a "brave move to ignite a war." "Everyone knows what India will do to the nuclear fuel. They will spice it up such that it can be used in weapons, just like what they do to the curry." "I am sick of Elmo. I bet you're sick of Elmo as well. Yesterday he just asked me to tickle him twenty times!" The Pakistani President added, "When they set up their TV studios, they will blare it over the PA system and try to convert the kids in our country to watch their capitalist shows instead of our local Ali Baba and the Prophet series." Sesame Street executives declined to comment, but Cookie Monster said this, "I have COOKIES! They have no cookies! COOKIES! Munch munch!" "Oh no! Not Elmo again!" 0 Comments:
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